Spread Love, be Human and be Free: The Reveal that'll change Everything

My "Love" Life as I know it is about to change...for better or for worse. Walk with me as I swallow my pride.

This one is off cycle, like I'm about to become.

This is going to be heavy.

Not in a sad sense,

But with who I am, or rather who I didn't think I'd ever be until now.

I can feel my anxiety underneath the calm.

The excess air in my chest weighting down into my guts

Touching my soul where my energy flows.

The fear of it all slaps my face like a blistering wind...

But I can't silence myself... Not now, not ever.

So here goes the big reveal the Title Promised.

My name is Scarlet Letter M

I am a believer in the love of mutual energies (plural), and this is my statement of freedom to love as freely as me....

To love like the flow of nature...

Unrestricted...

Uncontrolled...

and yet connected deeply to the essence of humanity itself

Heart... Mind... And soul.

Line Up the Judgement

Ah I can see it now.

The scowls

The long faces

The rolling of the eyes

The slamming of the phone

The closing of the blog

The unsubscribe button

The unlike of everything posted by me

I can hear the sounds of the thoughts and judgement:

But you're Married!! How could you do this?

What about your Kids? You're going to destroy their minds and hearts!

You're disloyal!

You're a manipulator!

You're a Fraud!

You're a Cheater and a Liar!

You're despicable! (With all the spit in my face)

I wish I never met you!

I feel terrible for your family!

You're breaking God's Laws and Covenant!

You're worshiping idols and masters!

You're becoming primal! Unhinged! Sinful!

You're a blasphemer!

You're just like all the other men! All Sex and No Commitment!

And the biggest one of all...

Why Max, Why?!!

Why I Choose the Poly Path

I'll answer that last one with a statement.

I was given the okay by the one I married.

The one I followed the rules with.

She agreed without reservation or an ounce of sadness,

that I deserved to be loved in a way that I wanted and needed.

She could no longer be that person...and I don't scorn her for that.

It hurt yes, BUT the revaluation came peacefully...

in its own time...

without restraint...

in its own moment.

Though I am now walking this path, it doesn't destroy the bond but rather strengthens it.

We are still Friends...

Parents...

Supporters...

We love in the genuine sense of it,

the common care about each other's well being.

THAT is better than nothing.

"But you're betraying your Wife! How Dare You Call Yourself a Man!"

"Why don't you Divorce her then than carry on with something that isn't you?"

"Why not be single and just find one woman that can satisfy you and love you fully?"

I have my reasons.

I want to live and love the way I want to..

and this time I want to love differently.

Though I may be tied down on black and white,

The physical is just one aspect of me.

I am love in the Mental.

I am love in the Emotional.

I am love in the Spiritual.

It flows through me as the Universal Language its meant to be.

Flowing and nonrestrictive, like the air we breathe.

We cannot contain it.

if we stop it's movement we all suffer.

We never get what we want out of it.

if we control it, it can destroy from within and still elude our grasp.

Too much air we suffocate from being overwhelmed.

Too little, and we suffocate because our bodies shut down.

As it is with nature, love must flow.

It must be balanced...

and solo relationships are not the only way to bring about that balance.

Contrary to what society has told me it must be.

I no longer choose to be locked in by titles,

to quell insecurities.

I belong to no one....no one belongs to me.

"You're my man"

"You're my woman"

Love doesn't own...

and that's what we refuse to understand.

When we own, we place expectations,

many of which are superficial, unnatural, and don't result in anything different other than a painful ending we often didn't prepare for...

an end that repeats what we experienced before...

utter heartbreak, anxiety, and depression because we didn't learn the lesson...

Maybe there is something different I need to learn or explore,

without going to the extremes of independence and waving off romantic love entirely.

Or going hot girl summer or swag boy, tearing up the club and fucking anything with a genitalia and can speak some kind of human language.

We expect, we lose, we lash out.

We curse our deities, our angel numbers, our horoscope, and all things spiritual for the damages dealt (word to Vada Maddox on her Blog Article entitled The Duality of Spirituality and Being Human found here. Love You Chain!)

We go through the emotions, we regroup, we repeat.

The same old cycle.

The Old Cycle is Death

Jump on several out of thousands of dating apps.

Build your profile.

Take a bunch of selfies.

Rehearse what you'll say like its a job interview for a contract you desperately like to sound (ahem..Marriage...maybe)

Have those Conversations to justify your worth and why you MUST be chosen.

Maybe go on a date, or two, or a few hundred...

For days

Weeks

Months

Maybe years...if you can wait that long.

You lose hope when the dates don't line up.

When the caliber of Men and Women goes from high class to ratchet just to get a dopamine hit.

You giggle...you laugh...you party...you smoke a little...go on walks...whatever...

Something about them opens you up.

So open that you open all the way up like Fat Joe and them.

Y'all start becoming a thing...maybe...

until you realize the excitement wore off...

the thrill is gone...

they become repetitive...

insecurities disguised as survival intuition kicks in...

hit em with a million and one questions or what ifs that rattle in your head...

the little person in us raging something is off...

but no conversations...

no words said...

no truths shared...

no togetherness.

and then comes the chaotic split.

Why?

Expectations. One person to be everything you wanted...everything you fantasized about.

That ain't love, that's dopamine selection.

Do it my way or else motherfucker.

We go three ways after that.

Vengeful.

Emotional.

Or stone cold bread getta because CREAM gets us Happiness...Peace...and maybe that banging ass partner we always wanted because Karma wins bitch..God don't like ugly...and I'm pretty minus the R sooooooo...LOL

Eventually we get bored...we get lonely...and get back on the wagon.

To repeat the cycle again and hope our expectations don;t lead to another death.

What Poly is and isn't (For Me)

To be real, I know Poly comes with its own stigmas and it's issues.

Its not a perfect system for human love. I don't expect it to be.

For me, I want Poly to be about giving and receiving energy. Mental, Spiritual, Physical, Emotional...

in healthy doses and ways.

I am growing in my masculine and am in need of that nurturing feminine energy that also wants to grow together.

I do not want to feed into mine, or someone else's insecurities but putting all my hopes and expectations into a single person.

That restricts freedom...and energy moves freely.

As I've seen in my married life, the expectations led to disappointment because my love tolerance overpowered her willingness to keep up with what I needed, while I went above and beyond for what she required.

I don't want anyone to feel smothered or feel like they are less than desirable because they don't look a certain way, or speak or act a certain way.

I want attraction to flow naturally and without any kind of force.

I will not control.

I may advise and help out in a way I know how.

I may have insights the other person or persons don't, and vice versa.

I am not doing this to be greedy.

I don't want to collect an infinite number or life partners because of my insatiable need for intimacy or connection.

This is NOT for Sport

This is not a game or an experiment to me.

The only thing I play is video games and THAT is with a controller.

I will not treat human beings like play things.

I am doing this for mutual benefit.

As a Libra, I seek balance and harmony in all things.

I want to give and receive back in a mutual exchange of life and love.

We don't need titles for that.

Titles aren't needed for commitment. That's what presence and effort is for.

Thats where the communication is for.

I may love you deeply for one reason or many.

That doesn't make you any more or any less than anyone else.

If you are attracted to someone else as well as me, rock it out!

Do what works for you!

Talk with me about it. Lets be open and real about how we think or feel.

The highs and he lows of life.

Tell me about your hopes and dreams. Where do you see yourself?

Lets be nerds!

Lets plan video calls!

Lets send love letters!

Lets send memes and cackle like demons into the night!

Lets throw a GIF Party through DMs or text messages!

Lets talk about Wrestling!

Lets meet up!

Lets do creative things together!

Lets let our hair down (or for me shave my head LOL)

Above all else...

Lets spread Love, be Human and be Free!!

Spread Love, be Human and be Free

There's so much division in the world with how we are.

We have all these standards for what right looks like...

and yet

Relationships fall apart...

Divorces sky rocket for those that follow religious teachings and those that take an eclectic approach to love...

So why not do something different?

Why not find a way to enjoy life a bit more?

Why not open up and say 'hmmm let me give this a try and see what it is?'

Maybe its just one person for me...maybe its one or two.

Who knows if I'm rigid and not receptive to it?

That's where I'm at right now in life as I end my 6th cycle of death and rebirth.

This is what 8th House in Aries Moon is all about...IYKYK.

I just want to be free...free to love in a way that resonates within me.

I don't want to hide anymore.

To be afraid to say how I feel or that I may be attracted to other people because of their energy and its not a detriment on the other person.

To reaffirm to someone that they aren't just an option in a grand scheme, but rather a part of me, and me of them...since we're all connected after all.

I know many won't be able to make sense of this...

so I'll say it like this...

You have a choice to leave...and I'll honor you for it.

But if you stay...if you embrace me...

if you feel for me the way I do for you...

Lets just BE

Lets not complicate anything...

Fuck the rules...

Fuck what anyone else says...

because what matters is what we feel...the energy in between.

Good energy...whether its friends...text buddies...cuddle buddies...romantic...platonic..digital...spiritual...

I'll even share the hard times with you.

All I want is to feel...and to be present...

and I hope you will be too.

With that...I am Scarlet Letter M...

I am Poly-amorous, nothing to fear...

My Love is Free...to those that mutually align.

Roll the credits...Lets Stay #WRITEntangled