Societal Norms are Bullsh*t: Break Free and Find Your Way
- Max the Ronin that Writes
- Jul 25
- 7 min read
What's up Boppers?
I've been waiting to write this one,
waiting patiently like a wolf in the night,
for the right moment to strike
while the fire in me simmered to a point of seemingly no return.
This will be unrestricted, volatile, raw, unfiltered
An combination of organized and unorthodox,
colors scattered all over the work of art
a statement written in the blood of a pen,
key strokes from the heart forged with the mind.
I've amped myself up via Threads...that I would be burying the notion of Societal Norms.
Why tho M?
What did societal norms ever do to you?
You live a Normal life
All your accomplishments are Normal
Normal is the way it is.
Normal keeps us safe.
Normal prevents us from becoming unhinged savages like our ancestors.
Normal helps us collect and corroborate data and information.
Normal keeps the faith in the collective.
Or is it designed in a way that the collective doesn't truly see or want to understand?
There's a quote from Claire LaZebnik I came across from her piece Epic Fail, which says
"Normalcy is a lie invented by advertising agencies to make the rest of us feel inferior.”
The key detail is in the lies of it all.
Someone has to uncover the truth behind the 'safety' of the lies we're all fed. That is why I must speak my truth on the detriment of societal norms that many of us glaze over.
Why Societal Norms are Bullsh*t
Here is where it's about to get real messy, so bear with me.
Trust me it's all by design.
Everything mentioned above about Normalcy is what we're told. We're shown it. Its indoctrinated into us:
Go to school.
Get a good job.
Get a Home.
Get a Car.
Get Married.
Vote for your favorite Political Party so that America can prevail (cough cough).
But here's what they don't tell you about the societal norms.
Those norms can change at anytime.
Its all about perception.
There's always going to be an opinion that defines Normal.
A new wave, a new trend, a new standard or explanation.
Back in the day it was normal to sit down and have a conversation with people.
Not through text.
Not through email.
Not through DM.
Not through a Tweet (or X or whatever the fuck its called now)
People actually had conversations without devices.
People knew how to convey their thoughts, to ask for what they want etc.
Why?
Because it WAS normal!
Communication was a Hallmark, and now?
People gather at restaurants and won't even look you in the eye to talk to you.
Hell, they won't even talk at all.
Just like a photo or video, giggle, share, and repeat.
What the fuck is that?
The new wave of NORMAL.
Another example is on the Family dynamic.
The definition of Family was simple back in the day.
Two people married (under God or in Court..cause you know...societal and religious NORMS)
Sometimes with multiple children.
Many families were larger back then.
Families had block parties or reunions regularly.
Some were within the same geographical region.
In a big way, family structure was a tighter knit...
unless you were from the hoods of the greatest nation in the world...
But what happened as time went on?
The societal norm of the family structure changed.
We focused more on working to stay afloat.
Taking on jobs that barely paid us or gave us benefits just to barely break even.
Cyborgs made of more flesh than metal,
with the added detriment of stress and aching bodies.
But our programing wasn't in code, but rather in obeying the law of survival of the fittest.
What once was a unit was forced to become fragments like dishes dropped in a fight.
Words and actions cutting deeper than amputated joints.
First the individuals and then the unit itself.
The children used as pawns in a war that never ends,
leaving scars on everyone but the lawyers educated in the dismantling of families hundreds of dollars at a time.
Just look at the Medium article The Shelter and the Storm, written by my friend and fellow Scarlet Letter Jina Vale.
Read the gut wrenching story of fellow Scarlet Letter Vada Maddox on her blog article entitled The Emotional Cost of Advocacy in the Face of Bureaucracy.
This became the new normal, which poisoned our sense of what family needs to be right now.
These quarrels spilled into gender wars,
the rest is history left to marinate and repeat in younger generations if we don't rewrite that definition of Normal.
This is the way it is today...and its getting darker.
But what if you do things differently?
What if you question what you once were told was normal?
What if you choose to walk your own path?
Hate to break it to you, but...
You'll be Cast Out for being 'Different'
The moment you decide you want to branch off and be part of the minority,
that you want to be different in your approach,
or you are in a situation that forced you to deviate from what is normal.
You'll be ridiculed.
Listed as a Statistic.
Labeled as an Outcast (Sorry Ms. Jackson....ooooooh I am for Reaaaallllll)
Labeled unorthodox.
Deemed unfit for society.
Given medication for your 'mental disorders'.
Rejected by friends and family you once held sacred or promised they were ride or die for you.
Isolated and alone, rejected by the world around you.
You become....the Loser.
But as the proverbial Loser, you aren't the only one that feels off following the Norms.
We all have a sense of rule-breaker in us.
That's normal too.
Some of us act on it and defy the odds, while others stick to what feels tried, true, and safe.
This creates division amongst people.
Groups stand up and point the finger at those different from them because
"My way is the right way"
This is why war is on the horizon.
Why there is political turmoil within the United States.
Why there are racial tensions between different cultures, not just Black vs the White Man or vice versa.
Its a twisted nod to the old quote that says we do not see things as they are, we see things as WE are.
So, is all of this Normal? Is this the way?
Truth is, it doesn't have to be!
It can all be countered, put to sleep from our own minds and souls.
What we need to truly understand is the REAL definition of Normal, so we can tailor it to ourselves for a better tomorrow.
Unorthodox Thoughts on being 'Normal'
Here are my thoughts on Normalcy from my own personal observations.
Normal is defined by You the individual. It's not to be a blanket for the Masses, by the Masses. It's not one size fits all but rather a beautiful clash of colors. A masterpiece of a mess where we are at the helm and can be free.
Societal norms are always changing, always making it more difficult to be free why promising us a canned version of success through competitiveness and comparison.
Societal norms are pretty, mono-chromed, and bland - within the lines. Creative thought and expression is the enemy of the norms, shattering the glass jaw of our existence. Its messy, unorthodox, and awakens the masterpiece within each of us.
Following established norms keeps us predictable and safe. But they also sacrifice our freedom. We become innocent and willing prisoners.
Normalcy is manufactured in mass by factories. Creative thought, expression, and BEING breaks through walls and makes life POP one moment at a time.
Before you ask why I am going ham on societal norms, its not to promote anarchy within the establishment, because we're already doing that even within our own bodies.
But I am making a stand because deep down I feel that we are destroying ourselves by following monikers and standards that are not our own to begin with. We follow the masses because we want to be seen, heard, belong, and adored.
But with all the noise that's going on, our frequencies are becoming distorted by greed, toxicity, an overabundance of power to name a few.
Is this really the way to live?
Is this really the way for YOU? What if the way for you was different?
What if it meant being in an open marriage to find the love that's right for you?
What about being alone and loving yourself because you feel like YOU are your own soulmate?
What if it meant telling your parents you didn't want to go to College because it didn't resonate with you?
What if you walked away from that job to pursue something you enjoyed that paid less?
What if, like me, you favored Anti-Heroes or wildcards growing up?
Like Stone Cold Steve Austin or Black Wargreymon from Digimon?
Or even Akuma?
What about Vegeta?
What if they motivated you to be different?
They too changed as they progressed through their lives. They didn't fit the mold of normal, so why should you?
Don't have anyone on your side to do what you feel you want to do? That's okay! You got me right here cheering you on to say "Welcome to the Dark Side."
Like I told one of my friends on Threads, sometimes you just NEED to be alone to figure out your normal.
With people or without...in the lines or out of it...either way IS the way.
The wind is effortless on Earth, and yet it still accomplishes it's mission in a directionless, uncontrollable flow that is free.
We need and deserve to be like the wind. To do so means we have to free ourselves from the grip of mass-normal to find our own way.
And that my friend, is OK. Find YOUR Normal.
Fuck the other versions. They are dead anyway!
Please do check out the two blogs I referenced earlier:
The Shelter and the Storm by Jina Vale
The Emotional Cost of Advocacy in The Face of Bureaucracy by Vada Maddox aka Gremlin Queen
This was a dagger to the neck of what we all hold sacred. But we made it, together.
Til next time, let's be #WRITEntangled
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