Building Your Home Within

Building ourselves up is very similar to building a home from the ground up - it takes time, effort, and consistent maintenance.

Have you ever seen a nice looking home or an amazing building and wondered to yourself just how it was made? How long it took to get build? How much it cost to go from ground to finished in a matter of months to years? I remember when I was gearing up to buy my first house in Texas. My ex and I (mainly her) would catch ourselves watching all the home shows on HGTV. Watching people window shop for their next place to call home. I used to HATE how people would talk about what they saw... So much that I'm chuckling now just thinking about it. They all sounded so fake!

"Wow look at the counter-tops."

"Oh man it's spacious"

"The backyard needs some work"

"Such a gorgeous bathroom!"

"Love the neighborhood."

I'm sure you can visualize and hear everything being said. But the house hunting experience, or rather the house itself is not only a representation of ourselves, it's also synonymous of our respective journeys, where we are in life, and where we want to be going forward.

Like any building, they are constructed and often seem like they can last the test of time... Until things go wrong. Maintenance happens. Sometimes, the house itself succumbs to man made and natural destruction. But like we've seen with the World Trade Center, what once was lost can be rebuilt in a new, better way. We can rebuild ourselves when life seems to kick us in the balls (or ovaries for you ladies out there).

It hurts when life causes us to crumple into debris in every aspect of our lives. We lose jobs, loved ones, we're thrust into change we don't want, get into vices that take away a bit more of ourselves each time we execute or indulge in them. But that is one part of the Life experience. You're not here to just suffer and die. You are also here To CREATE...to REBOUND... TO BUILD Your Home Within, Brick by Brick. In this article, I'll describe the building back up process from my perspective: using the house analogy.

Laying the Foundation (The Baseline)

When we have to build or rebuild a home, you have to start at the base level. The same applies to ourselves. There is nothing to build on, unless you have an adequate and stable plot of land. The land represents who we are at the subconscious level. The parts of us that linger in the background and influence our thoughts, feelings, and the actions we take. The same way the land can become distorted, fragile, and dehydrated, the same can happen to our minds (and bodies) if we don't take care of what's deep inside. Many of us have our subconscious minds programmed to control, to conform, to believe there is never enough, to believe we're not good enough, that we don't deserve what is coming to us. Without stable land everything beneath will crumble and become inhabitable.

At some point we have to take a moment to evaluate what's "normal". What comes natural to us. We have to pause, shut down all the distractions and embrace the noise within. Ask the challenging questions, observe how what's in here effects what's out there.

This is where the Foundation takes place. We cultivate the land around us with the tools and resources we gather, whether it's reading, breath work, watching a YouTube video, going to a seminar or a service. Whatever allows you to access the deepest parts of your mind... The 'inside you' that's been buried over all the requirements to live and be successful, leaving you to evolve but often abandon who you really are. Having the 'tools' isn't the only thing you need to cement your foundation - you have to take action. It'll be difficult... Scary even, but you'll know you're on the right path as you gain momentum. For some it may be the most difficult and impossible thing you've ever had to deal with, but again it's not impossible. There's always a means to evolve and get closer to who we really are.

Utilities, Wood, and Concrete (The Framework)

Actions become habit in life. Repetition helps us maintain what's within and also making lifestyle changes. We better manage our thoughts and emotions. Instead of seeing the gray matter or dark side of everything, we start to see things from a silver lining perspective. Though opportunities fall short, it doesn't mean we won't get another shot or that better opportunities won't come our way. This is where we have to change the narrative that we now know has taken the life and luster out of us. This is what I consider the framework, when actions are consistent and become habit. You've built yourself a routine. You've come up with a game-plan because somehow, someway, you realize that the old ways were weighing you down. The people you connected with weren't doing it for you anymore. The places you use to frequent, chasing titles and accolades, running in and out of churches or temples...you've distanced yourself from it to find a new way that aligns with who you are becoming.

You turn the action into habit to maintain the new energy that you have flowing through you. Every house needs utilities and some kind of power structure throughout. What would be plumbing, solar, and electric to our homes is energy to us. The life force of our lives. We must have the right kind of energy to sustain ourselves and the life that we are building. Without that clean energy, without careful consideration for the shells of what will be the bedrooms, the kitchen, the doorways, the hallways, and the steps, no house you try to build will be stable, and you won't be able to move on to the next part of the project...the becoming..where we insulate and radiate.

Insulate and Radiate (The Becoming)

The framework is up and stable. The most durable wood in place. All the utilities are set up and working properly. Now its time for the final touches, adding the insulation which we can relate to our boundaries and our new beliefs we want to honor. Insulation keeps the air we don't want out, regardless of the season. For us, our boundaries are agreements we made with ourselves to keep certain people, places, and things away from us. An armor of sorts to resist or sink back into our old ways. Sometimes, insulation fails to do its job and needs to be maintained, so as with our boundaries, we will have to perform maintenance. We will have to regroup and evaluate what is working and what isn't and come to terms with ourselves. The key to that is compassion for who we are. We have to understand that we may slip from time to time. We may struggle. We may fail. Yet, like all the other times, we were able to recover...get back up...reclaim our footing...and try again. This sense of compassion for ourselves comes from our framework and our foundation steps. What can we do to get us to a point of understanding and forgiveness? That is for each of us to discover, since we are all different.

Lastly, we have to BE who we are. That doesn't mean to fake the funk, or pretend to be someone that we aren't inside (this is why the foundation and framework stages of building are so important and often overlooked or misunderstood). Some of us think that means go out there and show ourselves to be ambitious and successful in the eyes of society, but what it truly means is being in tune with who we are authentically. Tapping in to our baseline and allowing that to come to the forefront of how we carry ourselves.

This is the beautification stage of the house, what everyone sees: The Character. What colors do you see? How is everything set up? Do we hear the peace within the walls? Do we feel the warmth radiating throughout? Most of all, are we now who we truly BELIEVE ourselves to be? Not to impress others or to control or influence others to come your way. But do you truly feel like you are who YOU are? Is it a script you created for yourself? Is it a mask? Or did you ask yourself what YOU actually wanted for your life? Are you the version of yourself you saw in your dreams or visions? You bring that to the forefront in how you carry yourself. If you are a writer, you are taking time to write...whether someone reads it, engages with it, or not (something I am starting to overcome the bad feelings of). You do it to express yourself. You do it for you! If you want to dress wealthy, do it for you, not to show off. If you achieve to raise your vibration and belief in your talent and abilities so be it, just don't do it for the accolades because none of that matters. What matters is who you are and what you are able to do for yourself. To boost your spirits and well being.

As you Build Your Home Within

Don't just BE, and DO. You must RADIATE. Eventually, you'll pull in who and what is meant for you. Take it from someone who didn't believe that I was a good enough writer. From someone that believed that I would never find love or attract someone I could share life with. Someone that still to this day struggles to see that there's enough out there. That there's plenty of abundance. But through taking time to look inward and demolish the 'old house' I once called home within, I have a chance to start new and build something to properly house who I am in this life. I've been on this journey to rebuild, with all the bumps, for five years and I am still finding my way. There is no RIGHT way to do this. There is only the way that works for you...in the flow of your authentic self.

So ask yourself my friends...are you ready to build or renovate your home within?

Lets Stay #WRITEntangled